


Everything All At Once

by Merrily_Merrily



Series: Answer [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Avoidance, Background Relationships, Crushes, Denial, Gen, JJBella, Siblings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 18:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20313802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merrily_Merrily/pseuds/Merrily_Merrily
Summary: In the wake of his issues with Isabella, JJ doesn't have the time or the patience for another crush.





	Everything All At Once

**Author's Note:**

> Since it's Random JJ Day, I felt like doing a short [Cast Me Gently](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282278/chapters/21036251) scene from JJ's POV. This scene ties into Chapter 9, which I haven't posted yet, but it's almost done so I'm hoping to have it up in the next couple of weeks. Nothing is mentioned in this little one shot that hasn't been covered in the sneak peeks I've shown [on Twitter](https://twitter.com/MerryMerrily), so don't worry about any huge spoilers. I've purposefully left all the stuff JJ's stressing out about pretty vague, since that has yet to be discussed in story. And I've still tagged this as pliroy even though they're not together because... I mean, JJ definitely is crushing pretty hard even if he doesn't realize it.

“So are we ever going to talk about your massive crush on Yuri Plisetsky?”

JJ rises from his tired slump to eye his younger sister across the breakfast table. She has that I’m-itching-to-cause-trouble look on her face that JJ would find much more amusing if it wasn’t currently directed at him.

“Who says I have a crush on Yuri Plisetsky?”

Sophie scoffs and rolls her eyes in a way only a teenager with an attitude can pull off. “I do. You text him all the time.”

“I text a lot of people all the time.”

“Didn’t you just spend all night skyping with him?”

“What, now I can’t skype my friends?”

“You’re not his _ friend_,” Sophie sneers. The scorn in her voice is eerily reminiscent of another moody fifteen-year-old, leading JJ to wonder if he was ever that prickly at that age. Somehow he doubts it.

“Then what am I?”

“A big, dumb idiot with a big, dumb crush.”

“Sophie…” Their father issues the warning without looking up from the emails on his phone.

Sophie clicks her tongue and returns to her breakfast, attacking her eggs with all the grace of a starving hyena. JJ slumps back down, elbow perched on the table, cheek pressed to his raised fist, directing a blank stare at a platter of pastries while he listlessly pushes food around his plate.

That _ should _ be the end of it. Sophie was clearly just trying to start something and JJ knows better than to give into her temperamental whims by now, but a nagging voice in his head won’t let the topic go.

“I don’t have a crush on Yuri Plisetsky.”

Sure, he’s put a lot of effort into having Yuri acknowledge him as a friend. It hasn’t happened yet, but JJ feels like they’re creeping closer every day. They’ve been getting along much better than they used to, at least. Last night might have been tense and uncomfortable at certain points, but ultimately it was another step in the right direction. Getting Yuri to open up is a bit like pulling teeth; it isn’t always comfortable and Yuri fights it at almost every opportunity, but JJ is still convinced it’ll be worth it in the end.

After all that work, JJ isn’t about to let Sophie distort his intentions or make up bullshit just because she’s jealous that he got Yuri Plisetsky texting and talking before she could get more than a word out of him. JJ might appreciate the chance to develop a genuine friendship on top of their existing rivalry, but he isn’t even _ close _ to being in the right headspace for a crush.

He still can’t even claim to know Yuri well, however much they might have talked last night. They barely interacted at all until this season. Most of what JJ has learned about Yuri only occurred within the last three weeks. Before that, Yuri was little more than a curiosity — someone to keep an eye on at competitions; someone to tease whenever the opportunity would arise; someone to admire from a distance.

For most of Yuri’s career, JJ only knew him as “that bratty Russian kid Bek’s obsessed with,” (“I just saw him in Latvia, Bek. He’s the rudest little shit I’ve ever met.”), which somehow never seemed creepy, probably because Otabek’s obsession wasn’t sexual in nature as far as JJ could tell. He’s 99% sure Otabek is 98% straight, which still leaves 2% unaccounted for, but he never got the impression that 2% extended to Yuri Plisetsky. JJ likes to think Otabek would have mentioned it if that were the case; he bitched about Yuri and ballet enough that there were plenty of openings. They were practically inseparable in Barcelona, despite the fact that Yuri called Otabek an asshole as soon as they met — which 1) wasn’t inaccurate, 2) was kind of hilarious, and 3) just goes to show that Yuri is capable of befriending people he previously insulted. In the end, Otabek came off more as a responsible brother looking out for his younger sibling rather than a dude with any sort of sexual attraction.

Not that it matters one way of the other. The important thing is that JJ does not in any way, shape, or form have a crush.

Yuri is ill-tempered, stubborn, and rude. He is sensitive only as far as any given topic extends to himself, otherwise he is incredibly _ in_sensitive bordering on callous. He is purposefully insulting and rarely has a kind word for anyone. If JJ hadn’t already seen him smile or heard him laugh, he might think Yuri incapable of both. Yuri is bitter, selfish, prone to jealousy, and a sore loser. He is one of the most guarded people JJ has ever met; talking to him is a lesson in patience. If JJ were less benevolent, there probably wouldn’t be any hope for them at all, considering how often their conversations tend to end with one or both of them getting pissed off — usually Yuri, but JJ isn’t entirely immune; he isn’t even an easy person to piss off, yet somehow Yuri manages it.

He might be concerned about Yuri. He might want to help him through a tough time. And yeah, okay, _ maybe _he’s developed a tiny streak of protectiveness, but can anyone really blame him? JJ wouldn’t react any differently if any of his other friends found themselves in Yuri’s position. He would gladly skype Leo all night if Leo needed to vent; God only knows how many times Leo has done the same for him. He would flood Guang Hong’s inbox with silly compliments if he thought Guang Hong needed to hear it. If some asshole online wrote snide blog posts and made up a bunch of bullshit about Otabek, JJ would be just as quick to confront them.

So what if Yuri also happens to be unbelievably gorgeous? That’s a matter of aesthetic. JJ can appreciate the way Yuri looks without wanting to fuck him.

Not that he _ wouldn’t _ fuck Yuri. He isn’t dumb enough to pass up that chance if it ever came up, not when he’s single and horny and looking for every distraction he can possibly find, but it also doesn’t take a genius to realize that Yuri is 100% Not Interested. There’s no point even entertaining the thought longer than the 0.2 seconds it takes for the idea to pop into his head. JJ banishes it immediately. That is definitely one complication he does _ not _ need right now.

“You keep telling yourself that,” Sophie mumbles around a mouthful of blueberry muffin, spraying crumbs everywhere. “You’re like a kid on the playground pulling his pigtails. Which is _ not _ a cute trope, by the way. Maybe figure out a better way to flirt with him.”

“I’m not flirting with him.”

Jesus Christ, he can’t even joke around with anyone anymore without someone assuming he’s flirting.

Beside JJ, his younger brother snickers into his orange juice.

“See, Charlie agrees with me!” Sophie gloats.

“I have no comment,” Charlie says.

Sophie turns her irritated scowl onto him. “You’re such a coward.”

“You’re the one with Yuri’s picture on the wall beside your bed,” JJ reminds her.

“It’s not beside my bed, dickweed. It’s by my desk with all my other pictures.”

“_Sophie_…” Nathalie chastises her, shooting her the sort of look that would have had Sophie on her best behavior as a little girl, but Sophie stopped being so easy to manage around the same time she traded in her childish bow ribbons for makeup.

“Whatever,” Sophie huffs, exasperated. She ignores their mother’s steely expression and continues, “Yuri’s way too pretty for me. I just admire him.”

“So do I,” JJ says.

“What’s his name in your phone again? Is it Babe or Little Bit? Or are you up to Baby now? You’re moving so fast, it’s hard to keep up.”

Sophie meets him with a taunting grin. JJ almost regrets ever letting a similar expression cross his face. He rolls his eyes and doesn’t answer, choosing to go back to his breakfast instead.

Yuri’s contact might have gone from “Russian Brat” to “Little Bit,” but seeing as Yuri probably has him in his phone as “Dumbfuck” or “Shithead” or “Obnoxious Pain in the Ass,” or whatever other insult Yuri had on his mind at the time, JJ thinks he’s well within his rights to use a teasing nickname.

But Sophie — damn her — won’t drop the issue.

“What exactly did you guys get up to in Barcelona?”

JJ effects a noncommittal shrug. “We talked a little. We danced a little. He drank a lot.”

“JJ!” Nathalie gasps in disapproval. Even Alain looks up from his emails to eye JJ with an admonishing frown.

“What? Everyone was drinking except me and Bek.”

“He’s _ fifteen_, JJ! Why didn’t you stop him?”

JJ sags over his plate, rubbing at his temples where a headache has been on the verge of forming all morning. Maybe it’s the product of stress. Maybe it’s because he stayed up all night after getting only four hours of sleep the night before. Maybe he’s dehydrated. More than likely, he can blame all three.

Whatever the case, he has no intention of ever letting his mother know he was the one who gave Yuri that first drink.

And the second. But they were both weak and hardly did anything. The real culprit was whatever Chris gave him later. JJ will insist upon that with his dying breath.

“You let Sophie drink last night,” he argues.

“In the safety of our own home with your father and I here to supervise!”

“Yeah, well, we were at the hotel and his teammates were there.”

Charlie snorts. “Who, Viktor?”

Okay, bad example. Everyone knows Viktor is shit supervision. He could probably benefit from his own chaperone.

“And Babicheva,” JJ grumbles.

“As if she’s any better.”

“If it happens again, I hope you’ll be more responsible,” Alain says, bringing the topic to a close before an argument can flare up.

“Right…” JJ agrees, but he hardly sounds convincing even to his own ears.

“_JJ_…” his mother presses him insistently.

“You really didn’t drink at all?” Sophie asks, face awash with disbelief. “That’s a shock.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” JJ counters. As much as he tries not to react to Sophie’s attitude, he ends up glaring across the table.

“You’ve been hitting the bottle pretty hard since… actually, since you got back from Barcelona. Are you drowning your sorrows because Yuri doesn’t like you back or because you and Izzy—”

“Sophie!” Nathalie cuts her off.

Sophie rolls her eyes again. “I’m just asking a question!”

“Stop instigating.”

“What-the-fuck-ever,” Sophie bites out, earning another warning look from Alain. She clicks her tongue and stands, knocking her chair back and snarling on her way out of the kitchen, messy black ponytail swinging as she goes. “We all know JJ’s your favorite anyway!”

“We don’t pick favorites!” Alain calls after her.

With Sophie gone, making as much noise as humanly possible while she stalks up the stairs in an irritated flurry of fifteen-year-old rage, the conversation around the table reaches a temporary lull. Charlie shrugs off the exchange in his usual careless way, but Nathalie and Alain trade a few pointed looks that JJ tries his best to ignore, but which he fails to miss even with his eyes intently focused on his plate.

Despite the fact that he isn’t hungry, JJ starts shoveling the rest of his breakfast into his mouth anyway. Maybe if he puts on a strong enough act, his parents won’t worry about any of the shit Sophie just said. Maybe if he keeps himself busy, they won’t have the chance to ask him about Yuri or Isabella or any of his shitty coping techniques, which aren’t techniques so much as poor attempts to keep himself distracted. Either way, Sophie isn’t around him enough to have any idea what she’s talking about. The only thing she did was exaggerate for the sake of getting a reaction.

All JJ needs is time and space.

So why doesn’t anyone seem willing to give him any?

With a heavy sigh, JJ reaches for his coffee and chugs the rest down in three large gulps. Avoiding his family probably isn’t the best way to reassure them, but it’s better than hanging around while his parents watch him like a hawk, constantly asking him if he’s okay, never believing him when he answers in the affirmative, and staring at him with sad eyes and cautious frowns. They seem to think he’s veering toward an explosion or a self-destructive plunge into an abyss of completely avoidable mistakes.

As if he isn’t already drowning in them.

Alain rises to begin clearing his and Sophie’s dishes away. JJ forces himself to smile at his father and hopes it looks genuine. Beside him, Charlie continues to eat calmly, unaffected by the tension.

When his phone vibrates in his back pocket, JJ pulls it out to find a text from Isabella.

_ ‘Loooooove _  
_ I’m so horny plz help _ 😫_’ _

JJ drags a hand over his face in silent frustration. His stomach twists hard enough that he almost regrets eating anything at all, burdened as he is with guilt and indecision.

He should gently decline, or ignore the message and come back to it later, once he’s had time to think of a better excuse than “I can’t look at you anymore without feeling so guilty I think I might puke.” He should head home and crash for the next twenty-four hours, or drown himself in work until he accomplishes something and feels like himself again — cheerful and confident and easygoing, not this glum, resentful mess he’s become while everything around him shifts out of place and slowly realigns.

Barcelona threw him off balance, and he has no idea what to do to get his bearings again.

_ You’re such a fucking idiot, _says a surly voice in his head.

He must be an idiot if the voice in his head is starting to sound like Yuri Plisetsky.

JJ shakes himself out of it and texts back, _ ‘Meet me at the condo’ _

Fuck guilt and fuck responsibility.

Fuck everything, actually.

Christ, he really has been talking to Yuri too much. Would he be this negative without some of Yuri’s attitude rubbing off on him?

“Who’s that?” Charlie asks, which would be innocent enough if he didn’t lower his voice tauntingly and add, “Your crush?”

JJ slams a hand against the table hard enough to rattle the remaining plates. “_Seriously_? I have enough to deal with without you and Sophie starting this shit.”

Nathalie jumps at his outbursts and gasp, “JJ!”

“No need to get so defensive,” Charlie mutters.

“Hey, here’s a question for you,” JJ sneers. “Have you told Maddie how you feel yet or are you still too chickenshit to do it?”

The change is instantaneous. Any mild amusement beneath Charlie’s characteristic nonchalance vanishes in seconds, clouding over with dark anger and the red flush of embarrassment.

“Fuck you,” he grounds out, earning another gasp from Nathalie and a warning bark from Alain.

“_Charlie_!”

Charlie launches himself out of his seat. JJ almost expects a fight, almost welcomes Charlie’s clenched fists and spiteful glare, but Charlie does nothing more than shove at the table before turning to stalk off like Sophie.

JJ tells himself he isn’t disappointed, that punching his brother in the face won’t make him feel better anyway. If anything, he’ll feel worse once remorse sets in later.

“No need to get so defensive!” he jeers at Charlie’s retreating back.

Nathalie huffs discontentedly and throws her napkin onto the table. “What is with the three of you this morning?”

Annoyed as he might be with his brother and sister, JJ would still rather have Charlie and Sophie around as a buffer instead of facing his parents alone. Now there’s nothing to stop them from trying to encourage him to talk. They’ve probably been waiting for a moment like this since last night.

Conveniently, Yuri provided the perfect distraction.

“I don’t fucking need this right now,” JJ groans, rubbing at his face to relieve some of the pressure before standing to take his empty plate, mug, and utensils to the sink.

“JJ…” Nathalie tries to effect a soothing tone, but her concern overwhelms it.

“I’m heading out,” JJ announces, refusing to look at either of his parents as he reaches into one of the cabinets for a travel mug.

He’ll need more caffeine than a single cup of coffee can provide if he has any hope of getting through the next few hours with Isabella. Already, the muscles of his face strain and ache from the weight of the smile he’ll have to force.

“Would you like me to pack some leftovers for you?” Nathalie asks.

“No thanks.”

Nathalie grows quiet. JJ senses his parents exchanging more covert looks behind his back, probably trying to decide which one of them should broach their concerns with him. JJ ignores them in favor of pouring more coffee into the travel mug, neglecting the sugar and cream as he twists the cap into place. He takes another large gulp as he turns for the door.

“Why don’t you come back around for dinner tonight?” his mother tries again.

“I don’t think I’ll have the time,” JJ says, voice as light and cheery as he can make it. “Too much work to catch up on. I’ll see you at the rink tomorrow.”

Nathalie follows him out to the foyer, where JJ tugs on his shoes and coat before digging around for his keys.

“JJ!”

He almost stops at the distress in his mother’s voice, stomach flipping with another hot burst of guilt and shame, but Alain comes up behind her with a stern look on his face like he’s on the verge of losing his patience. If JJ doesn’t get out of there right this second, he’s pretty sure he’ll dissolve into a sobbing mess before either of them say another word.

And that is not at all how he’d like to start the new year.

“I’m fine, Mom, honestly.” Somehow he finds the strength to grin at them, waving as he heads out the door and calling a hasty farewell over his shoulder. “Gotta go, loveyoubyyyye!”

JJ escapes to his car, chugging more coffee to combat the fatigue, then turning his music up loud to drown out the furious voice in his head asking him, _ what the fuck do you think you’re doing? _

The only thing he can do at this point: suck it up and move on.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I'll do more of these one day idk. Btw, I took the title from the song [Everything All At Once](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA--YKTDwaI) by SYML.


End file.
